The check list

So today was a vay-cay day. No big plans, no need to rush out the door.

I woke early though as I had to "get my run done". I wanted my run done so I could spend the rest of my day free from having to run. At 6 ish when the bed and the floor were in great debate, I wondered about the way I'd set this up for myself. I was forcing myself to get out of bed to get my run done. Not to run. Not to feel the pavement passing under my feet, not to be outside breathing in fresh air, not to sweat, sing. Not to find that moment when the stiffness stops and my body loosens into a rhythm only found while running. Just to get it done.

I observed this to-do list thinking. Mulled it over and tried to change it. I got up to run, not to get it done. I ran this morning and watched the fog laying on the city, laughed at dogs, looked for crocuses, smelled buses and ran. I sang a bit. Sweated and spent my run in a non-list world. Had a couple parenting insights, a work problem got solved.

Not trapped inside my mind, I was present.

Antidote for Grumpiness

So I did the big 10 minute run x 4 a few Friday's ago, longest yet and lived to tell the tale. And then me and my fella went out after work for a run the following Monday and we did 3 sets of 10 minutes.

No problem. Until the next day.

My foot felt like the bones were at war with each other. I limped a bit, whined a lot. Not fun. I wanted nothing more than to lace up the sneaks and hit the trails. But I waited. I iced. Went to chiro. I continued to whine and had wine. I did the elliptical at the gym and then the calves went crazy. Geez!

Without my runs I was grumpy. Something was not quite right. Happy to report I did a wee toot around the neighborhood yesterday, just 5 minutes x 4 and no limping nor groaning calves.

Running is my antidote to feeling grumpy. I thought it was potato chips or a mega-margarita;it's running.

Music

Pre-Oscar viewing led to channel flipping and I stopped to watch a bio on Pink for awhile. Her music and the stories behind them are intense and I knew I needed to get some of her songs on my running list. I want her to help me during my runs. I like her certainty.

Today I am back from a looooooong drive for work, left the city at 8:00 am yesterday and arrived home at 4:30 this afternoon. The radio was on and off, fuzzy and clear. When I could, I sang along and thought of additions to my play list. The stiffness that comes from sitting in a car for so long was contrary to how I imagined the music I listened to would affect my running.

Music is more important than I knew for this training trek. My ipod shuffle my new best friend. I've got the usual suspects on the playlist, Black Eye Peas, Lady GaGa but am always looking for more songs. I shuffle the music, using Crazy Heart's theme song to cool me down.

I hear music twice now; in the moment and as part of my upcoming run.

The knees know

I have a running routine now. Ha. Yes, the middle age, overweight, desk job working, wife and mother has a running routine. I kinda can't believe it.

I have two running options - timer in hand I head outside or I go to the gym and turn up my music. I do it three times a week and have been increasing my running time a minute each week; this is Week 6. Six minutes of running and 1 minute of walking, six times. I like to run on Monday and Wednesday and then ideally Friday but usually Saturday.

That's my routine.

I take my gear to work now so if I can manage a lunch time run I'm ready. I may go at night, not yet an early riser runner.

This running thing is now part of my life, it is an expression of myself. I sweat, increase my time, push myself, and get intense crazy moments of pure energy that force me to run faster. And then the energy fades. My run ends and I am always satisfied, always better than I was before.

After the run, life continues.

I forget about the run I ran. My knees don't but the rest of me does.

I want to change that. I want this running routine not to be just something I do but something I am. I haven't figured out how to do that yet.

The countdown is on

The Scotiabank International Blue Nose Marathon is my homepage.
Every day I watch the days till the run change. I get a little jolt every time. I wonder if I'll be ready. Then I do some mind over sore knees talking and feel okay.

This 10 km Blue Nose run commitment I have made is a quest. I am searching for the runner within. Inside this short and padded body of mine lies a runner. I've met her on occasion and I think she is fabulous. But she doesn't get out much.

My quest began on a treadmill. The runs that started as 1 min walk, 1 min jog for 10 minutes have increased weekly. This week is 6 min jog with a 1 min walk in-between for 36 minutes. My training increases weekly alongside my nerves. 10 km is really far. I have never ever run that far in my 41 years.

I want to be a runner. I want to run the Blue Nose 10 km. I just have one question.
Am I a runner?