I don't know, I do want to be fast, it's just totally beyond my realm of possibility at the present time.
I'm slow. Faster than a shuffle but not by much.
I'm using turtle-mind, forget a bragging completion time, completing is my goal. I had to remind myself of that numerous times today while out with the running club I'm a part of. We took off at a pace I have never ever reached and began by going down hill which made me feel speedy for a moment. That is until my body went into total "forget about it" mode. At the bottom of the hill the light turned red so I caught up only to be left in the dust a moment later.
By losing the group I also lost the time keeper and my stop watch was back in my locker. Made me realize I am obsessed and controlled by the minutes and the seconds. I am a clock watching runner. Forget the wind in the hair, sun sparkling on the sea, nope, I am going for 8 and 1 and if I'm at 6 and about to collapse, I can make myself go for 2 more.
Not sure if it'll happen before the Blue Nose or after but I will become a non-clock watching runner. I will head out to feel that wind/sun/rain but now I am setting a slow and steady as the clock ticks pace.